When Taylor Meets Munster
by Naktarra
Summary: This is a crossover of the The Munsters and The Andy Griffith show. What would it be like if the two worlds cross?
1. WTMM-1

Another simple day for the town of Mayberry had Aunt Bee calling to Opie for breakfast. Andy Taylor had already left earlier that morning with Deputy Barney Fife on official business. Although that official business came from Barney claiming that the whole town was talking about a monster that had been sighted just outside of town.

"Andy listen to me!" Barney had said, following Mayberry's sheriff into his kitchen.

"They said he was this tall." He raised his hand as high as he could read, "And he, or it, was green. Green Andy! Green!"

Andy sat down in his kitchen chair with a mug full of coffee. "Now Barn," he poured sugar into his drink with the slight air of not really believing the deputy in anyway. "Now Barn, I think you've been reading too many of them scary stories. You know they're suppose to be scaring up children. They're only children's tales, Barney."

Barney looked extremely offended as he pulled up on his his belt, "Now listen here," He shook his finger with an important wave that Andy didn't glance up to as he sipped from his coffee, "Real or not, we need to do some investigating. For the safety of Mayberry!" He slammed his hand down on the table to show he meant business, but this only sent Andy's coffee spraying into his lap.

Andy stood up and grabbed a towel from the side of the stove that Aunt Bee had always kept so neat and tidy. "Yes Barney." The deputy looked relieved that Andy finally believed him and was ready to go with him out to catch that monster. Andy was wiping his uniform down with a towel that was slowly becoming a tan colour with the coffee soaking into it.

"Now first thing first Barney. You can keep the town safe by watching where you're going."

Barney crossed his arms angrily, "I'll just go out there myself!" Andy nodded, "Go right ahead, Barn." Barney stuttered for words, "You'll be, You'll be sorry when that monster kidnaps me."

Andy glanced up at him, putting the towel in the sink, "I'm sure I will be."

Barney turned around and opened the door, "Fine. I'll go out there myself!"

Andy sighed with the annoyance that his deputy was serious about doing this so early in the morning. "Barney. I'll go with you. I'll go with you, you hear? But if we find no monster, you'll stop talking about it, ok?"

Barney however had already taken Andy's order and rushed to the car, turning on the siren which had never been used for any real emergency. Well, never for any emergency that Andy thought was actually urgent who unlike Barney, didn't take every rule breaking crime to be bad enough to be sent to prison for.

Barney however enjoyed it, so Andy had nothing more to do but follow Barney into the car carrying a fresh pair of pants he would have to change into once he got to the courthouse. Well, once he got to the courthouse after proving to Barney there was no monster and he should stop reading horror stories before bed.

That was the morning for Andy an hour before Opie came running down the stairs and into the kitchen after Aunt Bee called him down, "Hi Aunt Bee."

She put a plate down in front of him and wished him good morning as she turned back to her cooking and cleaning and whatnot. Although Opie had the day off of school and his first thought was to eat as fast as he could so he could spend the day outside. As he started to shovel food into his mouth, Aunt Bee turned on her heel to watch him.

"Opie! Opie don't gobble your food down like that. You're not a monster so don't behave like you're one of those horrible things you see on television now-a-days."

Opie ignored her and continued gobbling her food, making her stand there a little while longer watching him as he went through her well prepared meal. "Well I just told you to slow down."

Opie looked up with a piece of food dribbling from the side of his mouth, "Well golly, I'm sorry Aunt Bee but wouldn't it be great if I could be like one of those big ol' monsters like Frankenstein? Nobody would tease me at school anymore since I wouldn't look like a little wimp."

Aunt Bee couldn't help by smile at Opie's reason. "Opie, have you been reading those horror stories with Barney again? You know Andy doesn't like it since it makes Barney so jittery. Just be careful Opie, you don't want to be putting any crazy ideas about monsters running loose in his head. Who knows what trouble he'll get into." She let out a little giggle of Barney getting stuck in some silly situation over a simple misunderstanding. No, that wouldn't ever happen, Barney was smart enough to make his way around town at least.

She turned away from Opie as the boy continued to eat his food now at a more acceptable pace although he did rush the last few bites as he began to think about going outside again. He stood up quickly after pushing his empty plate away. "Bye Aunt Bee! I'm going out, but I'll be sure to bring back a monster for you!" He ran out of the little home happily, leaving Aunt Bee to wonder to herself how much food she would need for supper if Opie did bring home a monster.

Although it didn't really matter to her anymore as she moved on with her day with her morning to be something cute to tell to her friends about how creative and imaginative Opie could be sometimes.


	2. WTMM-2

Andy sat in Mayberry's courthouse, working on his paperwork as Deputy Barney Fife paced up and down the hall. He seemed worried as he began to pace faster and faster up and down the hall until he finally turned around and sat on the edge on Andy's desk.

"You know there was another report of that monster this morning."

Andy let out a 'mhm', not even looking up to his internally panicking deputy.

"Andy, you can't just ignore this! That monster might hurt someone. It will scare away all the good folks here in Mayberry. What's a sheriff with no town to take care of?"

Andy looked up at his deputy while moving away the cup of coffee that Barney was sitting a little too close to in the range of knocking it over.

"You suppose that everyone in this here town believes those children stories?" He looked up at Barney with his brows furrowed.

"Well yes, of course they do! Floyd said he saw that monster lurking around his barber shop."

"Well, what did Floyd say the monster did up by his shop?"

"He asked for a haircut Andy!" Barney waved his arms as this should be obvious to the sheriff that some non-existent monster was to ask Floyd for a haircut.

Andy nodded, pulling the coffee cup a little further away from Barney.

"Alright Barney. Now if that monster wanted a haircut, we'll just let him do that. There's no need to be after a man who needs a trim around the sides."

Barney got up and began pacing around again, annoyed by the fact on how much it took to convince Andy of anything that happened in Mayberry that didn't seem 'normal'. This could be a serious matter-yes,-but all Andy Taylor wanted to do is joke about how monsters shouldn't be discriminated against for wanting haircuts.

Barney took a minute to work himself up to give one last attempt to convince Andy of this no good monster. He puffed out his chest and began walking around, "Yep," He smacked his lips, glancing at Andy quickly as he continued to walk.

Andy looked up, "What?" He put his pen down, looking exhausted with Barney's attempts.

"We'll see who will be laughing Andy. You know I'm right." He looked at Andy sharply and stopped while pointing his finger at him. "I'm right and you know it. You know I'm right because I'm going to catch that monster if it's the last thing I do!"

He slammed his hand hard on the table and the coffee that Andy was previously protecting from Barney's reach sprayed over the floor.

Andy looked at Barney with a look that suggested if Andy actually carried a gun with him he'd most likely be considering to use it at this point. Barney was his friend or course and he tried to live as a peaceful man, so instead of slapping his deputy and kicking him out to patrol duty, he got up and threw a towel to Barney before walking into the back room to make more coffee.

-

Opie was running down the forest path, jumping over the occasional rocks and branches that crossed his path. He looked behind him and ran a little faster while yelling, "Ride 'em Blacky!"

He ran around in a few circles, his arms out as if he was tightly holding the reins of his imaginary horse that he loved so much.

Holding out one of his hands out and pointed it like a gun he shouted, "Bang! Bang!"

He picked up one of the rocks and threw it towards the trees before he started running around in a victory dance. "That will teach those crooks to mess with Opie Taylor!"

He smiled to himself as he ran off deeper into the forest, although he skidded to a quick stop. Not because he found himself faced with more imaginary crooks, not because he forgot Blacky behind him, but that he had come up to a fence he did not remember seeing there before. He didn't come down this forest path too often since he was afraid of getting lost, but what would an old rusty iron fence be doing in the middle of the woods?

He gulped as he looking up at the ends of the fence that ended with sharp points. Along the fence a few of these points were broken, moving Opie's attention the contents that were behind the fence . Opie found himself faced with a large house. Not like the nice white house he live in with his Pa and Aunt Bee, but this house was huge and black. Almost like a mansion, the building was dark and it looked like it was made out of uneven slabs of wood that made a horrible creaking sound as Opie listened and looked hard at this odd structure. The roof tiles were old and covering in a thick layer of moist moss and the windows were rattling with the wind of the morning.

Opie gulped as he slowly made his way around the path that lead him to the front of the mansion. Just a peek wouldn't hurt him, then he'd go straight home and tell his Pa about it. There was no need to be scared. Yes, if he did this he would be just like his Pa, not afraid of anything that came his way. He felt cold like all the light and warmth of the morning sun had suddenly shrunk away, deciding that night was a better option for weather. Even the sky was starting to cloud over as Opie crept along the path up towards the door. His eyes were wide as he looked at this great oak doors that looking like they were ten feet high. He gulped again and moved towards a planter with dead flowers that had a considerable amount of cobwebs and dead spiders on it. He climbed onto it, feeling as though he was starting to shake from both the cold and from the fear of this house. Opie looked up at the windowsill and peering inside through moth eaten curtains.

He was looking into what appeared the be a living room that looked awful old and dusty. The corner of the room held a large organ and the other side of the room had some antique couches and what appeared to be a wooden chair. Opie squinted at the chair and came to realize that this chair has leather cuffs and a large metal dome hanging over it. He gasped a small 'golly' as he kept looking at the chair.

That must have been one of those electric chairs he always saw in the horror movies at the theater. He studied it a little longer, thinking of these movies in a daydream until something white and black passed the window.

Opie held his breath in fright as he looked away from the window. Slowly, he turned his head back towards the window and let out a loud yell as he saw something staring back at him with round eyes that looked as though they were trying to stare out his soul.

"A ghost! A ghost!"

He started to pull himself off of the planter, his eyes fixed on a woman wearing what looked like long white curtain drapes, or more like some wedding dress that she was buried in once too many times. Her hair was thick and straw like as it hung around her face in a black sheet. Opie at this point didn't really care about the details of what was going on and ran off as hard as he could, only glancing back as he saw the woman at the old houses door, calling something out to him as he ran back into the trees and towards home.

Pa needed to know. There was a monster in there. A real ghost.


	3. WTMM-3

Andy and Barney were walking down the street together as Opie came running down the street. He was panting and he looked as though he was ready to fall face first into one of the cots in the jailhouse to sleep for a century.

"Pa! Pa!" He skidded to a stop, panting heavily. "Pa!"

Andy turned around to look at his son who was looking up with his with very red cheeks. His brows furrowed in a concerned way as they always did and he automatically left sheriff-mode and went to father-mode. Barney stopped and peered over Andy's shoulder, looking a little worried about Opie as the boy caught his breath.

"Pa! Pa! I saw it! I saw a ghost! It was big and ugly!"

Barney's eyes widened and his face went rather pale at the thought of a ghost. Andy however knelt down, "Now Ope, I've been explaining to Barney all day that these things don't exist. You probably just saw some laundry waving in the wind."

Barney looked at Andy, "Now Andy, look at the boy! He must have saw something!" He thought for a moment then started pacing around importantly.

"What did the suspect look like?" He tugged on his belt again while Opie watched Barney pace around looking important and official.

"She was old and ugly."

Barney stopped, "She?" He looked at Opie, "Wasn't this fellow a man? Wasn't he uh, green?"

Opie shook his head, "No sir. She had long black hair and she was sure ugly."

Barney looked defeated as Andy looked back to Opie. "Now Opie you can't just go around calling other folks names. It's not kind of you. Where did you see this woman?"

"In the forest."

Opie was looking up at Barney who was now scuffing his shoes on the ground with a disheartened look. Andy looked to Barney then at Opie who continued to talk, "Well you see I was out in the forest playing cowboy, then I came up to this big house. It was old and rusty and everything. I just went to look inside and she was there."

Barney looked up with a new hope, "A big ol' house eh? You weren't in the old Rimshaw place again, were you?"

Opie shook his head, "No sir. I saw this house in the forest."

Andy patted Opie's shoulder, looking a little confused by this. He thought he knew Mayberry perfectly well and now there just happened to be another mansion? Well they don't exactly appear out of nowhere.

"Just go on home to Aunt Bee and you have yourself a nice long rest. We'll keep our eyes out for this, this woman."

"Monster." Barney added, his mind suddenly set on the whole monster ordeal again. Andy looked up at him and sighed as he patted Opie's back as the boy started to walk home rather than run this time.

Andy got up and watched his son for a moment then turned and walked off to the patrol car with Barney following. "You don't think it's the monster, do you Andy?" Andy shook his head, "What Opie described was someone homeless living in an abandoned house. What you describe was a green man as tall as you could reach in need for a haircut."

Barney slammed his door as Andy gave him a cheeky grin and started the car. He drove past the diner and instead made his way up to what he guessed was the forest Opie had been talking about. Barney sat there moping about Andy teasing him while also thinking about how nice it would be to get Andy back by proving the monster was real.

However for the large house could not be seen by Barney Fife or Andy Taylor life was going on as normal on 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Although their house numbers hung crooked and there house was shabby along with most of their family members seeming a little odd compared to those of Mayberry, everything was perfectly normal for the Munsters.

Lily was finishing her cleaning as Grandpa was in his laboratory where loud bangs or crackles of electricity could be heard under the trapdoor along with shouts saying, "It's alive! It's alive! It's oh, nevermind," followed by angry grumbling.

Lily smiled to herself and shook her head as she turned off the vacuum that ran in the opposite direction. She smiled and looked around her extra-dusty living room before putting her small vacuum away in the closet. She was ready to the kitchen to start supper for when her loving husband came home from work.

Her mind drifted off to earlier in the morning when some small red haired boy was sitting on her windowsill looking into her living room. It was rather rude of him to be doing that, but Lily couldn't help wondering where the boy came from. She was sure that no one on Mockingbird had any red-haired children and it sure wasn't' one of Eddie's friends.

She began to stir a large wooden spoon into her cauldron as she waited for the hours to pass. Although she was interrupted in the middle of the hypnotic swirl of stew and looked up as she heard the front door opening. She placed the spoon down along the edge of the pot and creeped towards the door.

Surely Herman couldn't be home from work at the parlor this early. She peered around the corner, braced to scream for grandpa if it was a burglar. Although it wasn't someone wishing to rob her of the family's antiques, instead it was, "Herman!" She rushed around the corner to her husband who was looking rather angry with himself as he slammed his toolbox sized lunch box on a table.

She blinked, looking rather concerned, "Herman, what's wrong? You didn't get fired again, did you?"

Herman looked at his wife, his gaze softening. He couldn't be mad at her about something like this. "I can't be fired from work if I can't find work." He crossed his arms in an angry way and stomped his foot, shaking the house. Lily felt herself stumbling for a moment but looked back to Herman, "What do you mean Herman?"

Herman looked at her. "I got lost on my way to work, so I looked around and the parlor was just nowhere to be seen. I got out of the car and walked up to some strangers to ask for directions, but they seemed to all be training for some sort of marathon, so I didn't want to disturb them while they did their morning jog."

Lily looked confused by this, but she admired her husband's kind nature to others while they were focused on a task. "But you've been to the parlor hundreds of times Herman!"

He nodded, walking to the kitchen and grabbing the morning paper that was left next to his toolbox sized lunch container. "That's the problem, I've been there hundreds of times but I can't find my way there once anymore."

He sat down and sighed, "I guess I'll go to work when I find it again." Lily sat next to Herman, looking over the paper as he held it out. "Hm, that must be some sort of new paper." She looked at the word 'Mayberry' at the top of the newspaper. She was sure they got a different paper. Although if Herman got lost she was willing to bet he ended up halfway around the world before he decided to turn back.

She sniffed the air which was starting to smell as though it was burning, "Oh dear!" She got up and rushed to her cauldron, "I forgot all about this." She smiled and started to stir the soup gracefully and lovingly again.

Herman read from the paper, forgetting his worries of work already, "Monster spotting in Mayberry. The monster is tall and green claims local barber." Herman looked up at Lily and swallowed at the thought of some lunatic running free. Lily looked at him, "It's a good thing you didn't go to work today. Who knows what could have happened if you met that monster."

Herman nodded and went back to his paper, continuing to read the paper silently. Mayberry. A monster. Not being able to get to work. For some reason there was ten times more trees than he remembered around his home too. He got up, he knew what to do.

There was only one person to blame in his household for this mess. He looked towards the living room and shouted, "Grandpa!"


	4. WTMM-4

It could have been expected that Grandpa would be the source of the problem. Herman started to wonder how in the world they let that crazy fraud sit in the basement all day and blow things up with whatever strange test he chose to carry out. He was pulling up the trap door as smoke billowed up. "Grandpa?" He shouted loudly down the stone staircase into the dungeon. "Grandpa come out here this instant!"

There was some clinking of jars heard before what could have been first considered a penguin smoking a cigar came out from under the trapdoor Herman held open. He gave Herman one look as he swished his black cloak before instead turning his attention to his daughter Lily who was always an easier source of information that would destroy the house.

Lily was fiddling with the ends of her sleeves, "Of Grandpa. Something awful has happened."

"And it's all your fault," yelled Herman loudly in his important looking way. "Did I say I thought it was Grandpa's fault, Lily?"

"Yes well," She gave Herman a stern look before walking to the window and opening the curtains that showed the large forest that had appeared behind their house. "Look at this Grandpa." She pointed to the trees, "Do you know why that's there?" Grandpa peered out the window, "No, no I don't." He looked around with an interested look, "Maybe a relative is here. They always said old Richy had a green thumb. Then again," He looked at Herman, "He is green." Herman looked angrily at Grandpa before he sat down on the couch with a loud thunk, "This is your fault Grandpa."

"My fault? How is this my fault, Herman?"

Lily was still looking out the window as there was a knock on their front door. Herman shot to his feet, "I'll get it." He looked at Grandpa grumpily before thumping off to the front door.

Grandpa gazed out the window with Lily before pacing around, "Now how could this have happened. Oh yes, well last night I was looking through my spell book. One of my spells seemed to have not done anything. Although it might have done the opposite. Everything." He swept off back down the trap door quickly to his laboratory. A new thought of inspiration to what might have happened.

Lily watched her father leave and sighed, leaning on the window as she heard a loud screech from the front door. She shot up headed towards the door with a quick pace. "Herman?"

Marilyn had come home, holding her handbag tightly and looking miserable. "Why me, Uncle Herman?" She walked past Hermand and Lily and up the stairs.

A man outside was running down with amazing speed as Herman and Lily looked at each other.

"I just don't know what happened Lily. It's still bright out so obviously he got a good look at her face already."

Lily sighed, "Poor Marilyn. She's not like the rest of us Munsters." Herman shut the front door with a rattling bang and headed off up the stairs to comfort Marilyn with is wife admiring his kind heart towards the less fortunate people in the world.

The patrol car pulled to a stop down the street after a long drive around Mayberry. Barney was looking tired and Andy was looking irritated from a long drive of once again trying to convince Barney that monsters don't exist.

Barney looked up, "What did you bring us here for? You got a trim a few days ago."

"Well, we're going to ask Floyd about this monster." He got out of the car and shut the door. Barney stared at Andy for a moment as he got out of the car to, "So you really believe me and Floyd?" He had an excited chipper in his tone as he opened the shop door for the Sheriff.

Andy sighed, "No, but there must be something about this that makes some sense. If it wasn't a monster, it was something else and that's it Barney." He stopped and looked around, "Where is Floyd?"

Barney peered in, "Huh, probably taking a break or something. He was here this morning. That's when he told me about the monster."

Andy turned around, "Well then we better be getting back to the courthouse." He paused and narrowed his eyes, looking out the window, "Well, there's Floyd now."

Barney looked over to see Floyd fumbling the doorknob of the courthouse that was next to his barber shop. "What's wrong with him?"

Floyd was pushing up his glasses as he looked around. Looking up, he noticed Barney and Andy watching him through his window and quickly rushed towards his shop, "Andy! Andy! Oh Andy!"

He stopped, panting heavily, "Andy it was terrible! Just terrible! She was so pretty, but that monster. Oh Andy! It was just terrible!"

Looking rather alarmed, Andy steered Floyd into a chair, "Now what's going on?"

Adjusting his glasses again, Floyd took in a few deep breaths, "Well he was tall, green and he had one of the ugliest faces I had ever seen. Oh but she was so pretty. She was lost so I walked her home. It was a big ugly house. Oh Andy."

"Who was it Floyd? Did you get her name?" Barney started pacing around importantly once again. Now jumping to the fact that there was no way this monster wasn't real.

"W-Well, she said her name was Marilyn. Marilyn Munster. Oh Andy, she was awful pretty. It's such a shame all the pretty girls know such scary people. Did you see that film a few nights ago? Oh she was a pretty girl. Although she fell in love with this hideous monster. It's such a shame all the pretty girls go for monsters. Hey Andy, I just was in the weirdest situation. I was walking this pretty girl home and when we got to her house, there was a monster there. Just a big old monster. It was quite scary. You know it was kind of a shame. Why do all the pretty girls go for the ugly men?"

"Floyd. U-uh, Floyd. Where was this house?" Andy's attempt to stop Floyd repeating himself seemed to be useless as Floyd went on. "She was real pretty. She was blonde and she was wearing this cute little dress. Although she didn't look like she wasn't from around here. No, not from around here at all."

"Floyd, F-Floyd. Where was this house?" Andy finally caught Floyd's attention as the man looked up, "Oh I don't know Andy."

"Don't know? Floyd if this is some kind of joke?"

"No, no Andy. It's not a joke. No, a monster is never a joke. Do you ever see them being ignored in the movies?"

"Alright Floyd, so where's this house?"

"I told you I don't know."

"But you walked this girl home Floyd!"

"Oh yes. I did, didn't I? She was very pretty. She was blonde and she was wearing the nicest dress."

Andy finally got fed up with Floyd, "Come on Barney. We're going on patrol."

"Oh but Andy, again? We just came back from patrol. Can't we just sit down and eat lunch first? Aunt Bee won't be happy if we leave our food cold."

Andy headed out of the shop, "Well that's a risk we'll have to take Barney. Remember, it was you who wanted to find this monster in the first place."  
Barney sighed as he followed Andy into the car, slamming the door loudly as Andy started the patrol car and drove off down the road.


	5. WTMM-5

"Are you sure I can't help Marilyn?" Grandpa was mixing ingredients in a large cauldron. "There's always something up the vampire's sleeve that will send the men running."

Marilyn sighed as she sat on Grandpa's operating table, "That's the problem."

The cauldron bubbled at Grandpa looked up, "Well, I meant running to you." He dumped a few more various ingredients into the pot.

"What are you doing, Grandpa?" Marilyn was looking curiously over into the pot.

"Oh I'm trying to get up back to Mockingbird heights. Apparently that's not where we are right now. Didn't you notice Herman complaining all day?" He shook his head in disgust, "Oh. I'm out of strawberries."

"Strawberries?" Marilyn asked with slight surprise.

"Yes, strawberries. I can't make a proper milkshake without them." He looked up at Marilyn, "Well I'm not helping Herman until I get something to drink. Why don't you go get some Marilyn? If you meet any strange men on your way, make sure you talk to them."

Marilyn got up, "I will." She headed up the stairs slowly as Grandpa moved away from the crazy amount of smoothie he was creating and instead went into his spell book to start on fixing Herman's troubles.

As Marilyn headed towards the door after getting her purse, she spotted Lily and Herman sitting in the living room. "Oh Uncle Herman?" She looked over to him, "I'm going out. Grandpa said he needs strawberries." Lily looked at Herman then to Marilyn, "What in the world does he need those for?"

"I'm not sure," She shrugged but then smiled, "He said if was for a smoothie. Although knowing Grandpa it could really be anything."

Herman looked disgusted, "If there's anything I hate is a man who only thinks about himself." He snorted as he looked back to Marilyn who put her hand on the doorknob, "Oh yes, Uncle Herman. Although he said he wasn't going to fix the problem with our house until he had something to drink. So I'll be going now."

She smiled and gave a little wave before leaving the house for the little town of Mayberry before her uncle could object.

Mayberry was somewhat welcoming of Marilyn Munster coming to town as she was followed by the feeling of being stared at. However when Floyd saw her out of his shop window he quickly closed the curtains and went back to cutting crooked sideburns in peace.

Barney and Andy were standing outside the courthouse, laughing about the 'good old times.' Barney gave his nervous laugh, "Then you know what I did Andy? I went straight up to her. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, Thelma, I know we haven't known each other for long, but I think you and I are really something special. I know that nothing could come between us an-'" He stopped there as he went very white as he stared down the street.

Andy looked at him with a grin, "Ya? So how did you finish it?" He looked at Barney for a moment, "Barn?" He waved his hand in front of Barney's face. Barney grabbed Andy's arms and tugged him around the corner, peering around it carefully.

Andy smiled, completely use to Barney reacting over no real danger and peered around the corner with him. "Well..." He looked to the pretty young lady down the street who was looking along the shop signs to look for a store that she could buy strawberries in. He stepped out from around the corner but Barney caught his arm. "Are you crazy Andy? She's a nut!"

"Oh Barney, I don't think a pretty thing like her could do harm." He kept his eyes on her, not taking even a split second to look at Barney. He pulled away from Barney and shoved his hands in his pockets as he crossed the street to meet the woman with Barney following him like Marilyn might be a ticking time bomb.

"Well, hello there." He smiled to her with a broad grin. Marilyn looked over to him and smiled, "Oh, uh, hello." She nodded to him, looking a little worried when she saw his badge. Had she done something wrong?

He smiled, "I don't believe I've seen you around here before."

Marilyn looked relieved at the fact she hadn't caused trouble. Uncle Herman had always made a point that the person to cause the commotion was truly the ugliest there is. Internally and externally. Marilyn really couldn't afford feeling any uglier if she ever wanted to meet a man who would be able to drop her off at her home and not have them run away at the door.

She looked at Andy, feeling rather hopeful at his smile, although when she saw the man behind him who looked at her with a very sharp and distasteful look, it made her heart sink slightly. Oh, how would Uncle Herman and Aunt Lily react to her being approached by the police of all people. She realized she was just worrying, and that this policeman was probably waiting for a response.

"Oh, yes. I came down here this morning, but I couldn't find my way around. I came down here to get some strawberries you see, so my grandpa will be willing to get us out of here."

"Out of here?" Andy looked slightly offended that someone would want to leave his sweet little Mayberry so soon. "Well if you're lost, I'll be sure to you around, maybe that will change your mind about leavin'."

"Oh I wish I could." She was looking rather worried, "Although Uncle Herman wouldn't be able to find his work if we didn't get out of here."

Andy smiled while stepped on Barney's foot before he could speak, "Well, I'm sure your uncle can find some mighty fine things to do down here in Mayberry. Where are you and your uncle living exactly?"

"Oh, we live in Mockingbird Heights."

Andy thought for a moment, "I don't believe I've heard of a place in Mayberry like that."

She sighed, "That's the problem. We're suppose to be there, not here."

Andy looked to Barney, "Can you go and patrol while I show Ms..." He paused and looked to the pretty young girl.

"My name is Marilyn. Marilyn Munster."

Barney looked as though as his jaw was about to fall off as he heard the name. "Andy. Andy..." He pulled Andy to the side. "That's the girl! That's the girl Floyd was talking about. The one with the freaky monster!"

Andy rolled his eyes, "Barney, go on patrol."

"But Andy, we've been on patrol twice times today. I know this is the girl! She could solve our problems once in for all. This is a crook!" He moved forward to start his lecture on Miss Munster although he was caught by Andy holding the back of his uniform's collar. "Go on patrol." He let go of Barney and headed back to Marilyn. continuing his conversation with her as he lead her down the street. Leaving poor Deputy Fife standing there angry at his sheriff, and determined to find where that girl was living. He snuck off around the corner and watched as Andy walked into a shop with Miss Munster.

Yes, Andy was a gentleman. He would probably offer the new girl a ride home since she was so pretty. Then he'd see what Floyd was talking about. Then he'd finally come running back to Barney P. Fife, begging forgiveness. All Barney had to do is follow the sheriff.


	6. WTMM-6

Barney's efforts did not stop. Andy left one of the shops with Marilyn, who seemed to be warming up to the sheriff, as she held the strawberries she had bought for grandpa. Barney was right. Andy had offered her a ride home in the patrol car. Barney slunk off around the corner and watched Andy hold the door open for her. He smiled to himself as they drove off. with Barney following the cruising patrol car by ducking behind various bushes. Andy was oblivious to his Deputy not being in the courthouse. After Andy's tour to the new girl and Barney's patrol duty, he was just simply and completely oblivious to the Deputy cracking this case. As he always said, 'you gotta nip it in the bud!' Although he started to find himself losing track of the Sheriff, he was taking shortcuts through the forest. Not the best idea, and it ended up delaying him as he got caught on a tree branch and fell face first into the dirt. He got up and peered down the road where the patrol car couldn't be seen anymore. His mind began to suddenly panic, everything going blank even though the courthouse was only a few blocks away. He felt like he was in the middle of nowhere. He started to run through the trees, running towards the nearest light, stopping dead in his tracks at an old rusted fence that ended in broken spikes. Behind that fence, a mansion. An old, falling apart mansion. Barney was about to turn around and run for it, although two people moving up the steps caught his eye. Diving in a rather extravagant way into the bushes, he peered over the leaves to see Andy and that monster-loving girl heading up the front steps of the house. This wasn't the Rimshaw house for sure. He moved over to watch as the door opened and Barney went white. Opie was right. It was an ugly old she-ghost. Her long black hair that fell to her ankles, the dress that looked as though she had died in a wedding gown. Although Andy was entering the house. The boob was going into this place. He was in danger! All because he wanted to appear to be the gentleman, the sheriff had to go and get himself killed! Barney looked around wildly and spotted an old hot rod-hearse hybrid. They were going to take his body away from the house in that hearse! Barney got up quickly and ran down the street. He'd need more than the one bullet in his pocket to get Andy out of this mess.

Andy had to admit maybe Floyd and Barney were right about this girl. She was a very nice girl and pretty indeed, but when she told him that this broken down house was her home, he couldn't help but feel a little nervous. What answered the door wasn't a monster as Floyd said it had been. Instead, it was a woman. Andy assumed for her to be older, but he really wasn't quite sure how old she was, or why she was dressed that way she was. He'd go off on that people who live in strange homes have the right to seem a little bit off, right? He smiled to her, "Howdy." He gave a little wave to complete his broad grin. The woman looked very worried at once and she looked to Marilyn with the look of disbelief. "Marilyn Munster," she gasped. She looked behind her nervously making sure he husband wasn't there before looking at Marilyn with her angry look. "What will Herman think of you being taken home by the cops? He does all this hard work and you have to go and get yourself in trouble." She was looking at Andy, waiting for her to explain what her niece had done for her to be taken home by the police of all people! Her husband worked to the seams every day and this was his repayment? This surely wasn't something Marilyn would do! She was such a sweet and kind girl who wouldn't hurt a fly. Andy looked to Marilyn, for who whatever reason looked ashamed, then to the woman, "N-No ma'am. I'm not takin' her home because she's in any trouble. I just thought it'd be a shame, you know, if she was to walk home in the cold with those strawberries." He gestured to the strawberries, trying to get the woman to stop staring at him like a vulture.

She looked to Andy then to Marilyn, feeling rather embarrassed now. To think that one of Marilyn's own family members could have been the cause of her losing contact with such a kind man because she was acting so rude. She scooted aside and held the door open, "Won't you come in?" She waved her arm gracefully to show he was welcome into their strange home. Although with nothing else to do but go back to the courthouse and deal with Barney's rants about monsters, Andy immediately accepted and entered. Marilyn was looking a little nervous at this point, "Oh, I'll go bring these down to grandpa, Aunt Lily." She hurried off quickly with her cheeks red, setting her mind to find grandpa instead of facing the guest named Andy Taylor now in her home. Lily lead Andy into the living room. He was looking around, kinda curious on this place now. It was a very old house, so Andy would have sworn that he would have known it was here. He sat down on a couch that brushed dust into his face making him sneeze. Lily smiled, taking his sneeze as a compliment on how he noticed how nice and dusty her house was. Oh he was a true gentleman who would be perfect for someone as nice as Marilyn. Even if she didn't have the looks. She suddenly got an idea, oh how rude of her not to think of it. "I'll get something for you to eat. You must be hungry after a busy day on the job." She smiled and gracefully headed out with her dress trailing being her. Andy was still curious about everything here and got up. He looked to a black cat and smiled, although he jumped a mile when he could have sworn he heard it growl like a lion. This place was sure creepy, but the folks in it didn't seem to be out to get him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and gazed out the window. Andy stood there for a few minutes, trying to take in what he was seeing. Two men. Walking towards the the large oak doors of the house cautiously. They both were holding shotguns and just one of the two men happen to be, "Barney!" He looked to the other man and could recognize Gomer's worried expression. His heart sank as he had a feeling on what Barney was planning to do. As there was a loud bang on the door and the sound of Barney's voice yelling to open the door for police business. Andy rushed to the door, although he was met by another thing before he could even get close. Andy took a step back, taking in what looked like a man who stood at least ten feet tall. He was green with bolts at his neck and a long scar down his forehead. Andy really wasn't sure what to make of this, but he knew what Barney would as soon as he opened the door. Although Barney ignored the appearance of this man. This monster. "Alright! Put your hands up!" He pressed the gun to the man's torso and the man put his hands up, looking very frightened. Gomer however was rooted to the spot, "Shazaaaam." Barney had the man backed into the corner, "Where is he? Where is Andy Taylor! I'm not afraid to use this you know! I'm a much bigger man than you!" He paused and looked at the place his gun reached. He very slowly looked up, gulped, and passed out.


	7. WTMM-7- (Finale)

Barney's eyes were opening very slowly. His legs were awkwardly hanging over the edge of something hard, and his head was pressed to the back of what felt like pillow-shaped dust.

With a pounding headache and the memory of a giant green monster, he thought it might have been better to head over to Thelma Lou's and watch a little TV. Maybe whatever that doctor was doing on the TV would seem normal. Patients looked weird enough. He could just think of them instead of anything else. Like that thing he saw. Tall, green. Fierce.

"Did you see that Andy? He just plopped down right there on the floor. Like those whistles you here down at the Marine's base. Sergeant told me what they're like. "

"Mhm? Did he now." Andy wasn't paying attention, and was leaning on the wall, thinking on how to deal with Barney when he woke up. The man would probably panic. He'd then probably try to save Andy's life even though Andy was perfectly fine, being offered things to eat my Mrs. Munster, who was apologizing for his deputy being frightened and blaming it on the landing being wet after she cleaned it earlier.

"Mhm? Is that all you have to say Andy? Well, I'll tell you the whistles were a lot like this." Gomer whistled a long whistle like a missile was falling and ended it with, "Pow!"

Andy and Gomer jumped a mile as the trap door behind them opened, the cloaked penguin known as Grandpa Dracula was exiting the cellar with a steaming vial. He looked to Andy and Gomer and giggled like a crazed psycho before he headed to Barney, who look absolutely terrified by this strange man. He jumped to his feet, making Grandpa chuckle more.

Barney cautiously walked around the couch, his hand on his gun and his back hunched.

"Alright! Drop your weapon!" He pointed the unloaded gun at Grandpa.

Grandpa chuckled, "Don't mind if your do."

He snapped his fingers, causing Barney's gun to shoot out of his hand and stick to the ceiling.

Andy looked at the floating gun in bewilderment, followed by Gomer who let out a long, "Shaaazzaaaam."

Without a thought Barney turned around and went for Andy, who he hid behind for 'defense reasons.'

"A-Andy! He's a monster! A freak! He's trying to poison me!" Barney peered around Andy like a child sticking close to his mother.

Grandpa looked highly offended offended by this and put the vial down on the old table. "A freak? I Sam Dracula a freak?"

Barney stuttered slightly, "Y-Ya, and the rest of those monsters too! Who are you kidding? Hanging around here like this? We could get your arrested by the law!"

Andy was looking between Grandpa and Barney as the rest of the Munster family was rushing into the room. Grandpa held his fists up, "Come here you." Although really, being fought by such an old man, or penguin wasn't so frightening. Unless you were Barney, who held onto the back of Andy's sleeve like he was going to be sucked into the fight by the wind.

The fight was broken up as every non-Munster went very pale as the rest of the weirdo Munster entered the room. Including the tall, green and 'fierce' Herman Munster.

"Grandpa?" It was Herman, who was looking rather grumpy. Lily turned to her loving husband, looking angry, "Herman! Herman! That man just called us Munsters freaks!"

Herman looked at Barney, who looking like he was ready to pass out again. "Well, did he now?" He took a few steps forwards towards Andy, Gomer and Barney as Grandpa held his fists up still, looking menacing.

"That was very rude." Herman was surprisingly calm about this, although to Barney, it was like Herman was a raging dragon.

"Well, I have one thing to say. We Munsters are not freaks. We happen to be the average american family. I read a quiz in the paper." He spoke in his matter of fact tone as he looked sternly at Barney.

Lily was flushing with pride over the example her husband was setting such an example for Eddie, who was looking rather confused.

Andy looked to Herman rather bravely, then to the rest of the Munster family before he stepped away from Barney.

"That's right. They're just like everybody else Barney. Just people like us. You're a man of the law. You can't go around calling everyone a freak just because the ain't like you. You're job is to make the people feel safe and to be safe is to be respected. No matter what you think of the innocent. Your job is to help them when they need help. So is mine. So is everyone's job in here in Mayberry."

Andy looked around the room, "Now, the reason why I came here in the first place was to just drop off your niece and say hello to y'all since I haven't met any of you folks before. I hope we can just all forget this ever happened and go back to our daily lives. It's just been one big misunderstanding after another."

Grandpa lowered his hands, "Oh all right." He waved his hands dismissively, to Barney who had the expression of shame, fear and 'I'm going to die' fear on his face. "I won't turn you into a rat this time." He snapped his fingers and Barney's gun fell the the ground with a clatter.

Barney looked around and then slowly made his way to pick up his gun, trembling slightly. Lily was already showing her husband with praise and overwhelming joy for his kind heart while Grandpa was heading back to his lab.

Marilyn finally piped up, her hand on Eddie's shoulder, "Well, it's mean a misunderstanding the whole way. You weren't really taking me home anyways. We're not suppose to be here. We're suppose to be in Mockingbird Heights."

Everyone looked to Marilyn, who wasn't use to the attention leaving her turning slightly pink.

"If the sheriff says he's here to help, maybe he can get us home. I'm sure Mr. Gateman would like an explanation on how Herman can't go to the parlor."

Andy looked a little worried, "Well, I don't know how I can help you all get home and I don't know how you got here in the first place," He smiled broadly, "Although we'll do everything we can to help."

Gomer smiled, "Yep, and if ya ever need help with yer' car, you can come up right down to Wally's station and we'll fix her right up."

Barney finally cracked a smile, even though Herman's ten foot appearance seemed rather daunting as he stared at Barney.

Herman let out a chuckle, settling the misunderstanding and starting the new friendship of Taylor, Fike, Pyle and Munster.

* * *

After a long day of work, or as it was better known as doing nothing in the quiet courthouse, the door opened to a woman in a long white gown that had the appearance of being buried, dug up, buried again, torn then and then finally dug up again. Andy took his feet off the desk quickly and Barney looked up from his half doze in a nearby chair.

"Well howdy Mrs. Munster."

Andy got and and put his hands in his pockets, smiling to her."

Lily Munster placed a small dusty basket on the edge of the table.

"I just felt I owed you two boys something for all the trouble we caused."

She bit her lip, thinking the meal she cooked for them containing cat tongue and frog eyes wasn't quite an apology enough, but she supposed it would have to do.

Andy peered into the basket, but quickly closed it as he didn't know what the slimy mess was, "Oh no trouble, no trouble at all."

She smiled warmly, "Good."

Barney was now looking into the basket, although he quickly got up and left the room with the feeling as if he was going to throw up.

Lily looked concerned for Barney, "Is he alright?"

Andy looked to the room his deputy left to collect himself in, "Oh I'm sure he's fine. Just a little light headed. He didn't get much sleep last night." He nodded reassuringly.

Lily nodded then glided slowly to the door. She paused, "Oh, sheriff. A few days ago, you know, when everything happened, I saw a boy in our property."

"Did you now? What did you look like?" He sat down as his desk again and looked at Lily Munster, trying to figure out what it was that made her seem to appear as if she was walking on thin air.

"Well, he had very red hair. I was going to invite him in, but he just. Ran away."

Andy nodded, "That would be my boy Opie."

Lily smiled, "Oh, wouldn't it be just wonderful if Eddie got along with the other boys here in Mayberry."

Andy nodded, "Sure would be mighty fine." He was a little uncertain of what the other folks in Mayberry would think of Eddie.

Lily glided out happily back to her chore as Andy quickly got up to open the basket. Barney walked out of the back and into the basket which was oozing the slippery paste.

"Ehck. What is that Andy?"

Andy picked up a slimey cat tongue that was covered in what appeared to be the juices of the frog eyes. He let go of it, letting it drop back into the basket with a sickening squish noise.

Barney closed the basket. "Well, we'll just save it for later."

"Yeh, that seems like a good idea." Andy nodded, his hands in his pockets again.

"Maybe we'll grab a snack at the diner first? You know, before we chow down on this delicious...thing."

Andy nodded again, "Oh sure...sure..."

Barney leaned on the basket, which slid on the slippery surface it was creating and went crashing to the floor, splattering Andy with the disgusting mess of a meal.

"Barney!"


End file.
